i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
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