At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
