he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
