For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
He felt like a one man threesome
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
