I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
