Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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