So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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