Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
