Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
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