It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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