Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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