Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Michael Bay diarrhea
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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