Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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