The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
