I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
