It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
