is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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