please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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