i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I want to fling myself into the sun
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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