your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
