i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
