just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
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