So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
i would punch a child for taco bell
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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