The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
