im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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