Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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