you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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