if only i could text you this smell
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
