Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
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