my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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