I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
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