People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
