woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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