Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
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