But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
