Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
