with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
