whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
