You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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