On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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