Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Randomize
