There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
