you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
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