oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
