Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
