in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
When did we convert life to cartoon?
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
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