This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
