Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
