32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
