wat bout pragnant strippers??
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
