and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
