Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
The dick lei will go down in squad history
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