Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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