And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
