Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
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