dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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