Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize
