You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Everyone says I win the strip club
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize
