My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Randomize
