You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
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